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Glossary of termsbook jacket

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ADDD - ATTENTION DEFICIT DATING DISORDER: when your date interrupts all conversations, steering the talk back to themselves, since they must be the center of attention at all times - MyJewishBooksDotCom

ASSHOLIC: the state of being addicted to men who are less than wonderful - mccabenmrmiller

BOYROMETER: the unattainable boy who becomes the measure by which all perfectly nice attainable boys are unfavorably judged - KatenHeather

BREAKUP FAIRY: When a significant other moves out but has left little trinkets, sweatshirts, cds, etc. behind, the Breakup Fairy bestows these gifts upon male friends, co-workers and other people's children (especially if significant other found these things significant, Cindy adds) - FlyingSolo

DATING: God's evolutionary obstacle course - JohnWard

DEAD MAN STALKING: having to avoid streets and sometimes entire sections of town because buildings or restaurants in that area are haunted by memories of a past lover - mickramer

THE DESPITE-O-RADO: despite holding your hand while walking down the street, despite taking you out for dinner and paying, despite sleeping with you and despite taking you to breakfast the next morning for six months straight he says... "Why would you think we're dating? Of course we're just friends" - tht1guy

EMALE: a guy who uses email one too many times when really he should call already - Anonymous

ENTANGLEMINT: a sweet refreshing feeling that follows accepting that you are in for the long haul - JoyBoy

FRIENDVY: when the worst part of a breakup is it means you won't get to hang out with your ex's friends anymore - mickramer

GEORGE JEFFERSONED: when a person breaks up with you then "moves on up" by dating someone who does what you do for a living, only is much more successful at it - mickramer

GO-TO GAL: the type of girl you should try hard not to be post-break up, i.e., the type your ex can just "go to" to fix his broken ego when he's not having luck on the dating scene either; the girl he can "go to" for recreational sex; the girl he can "go to" when there's nothing good on TV - ifeelya pain

GREATER THAN OR EQUAL TO: someone who is at least as wonderful as you are; what you should always looking for in a mate - numb17e

THE HI SIGN: when a caller only says "Hi" or "Hi, it's me" without identifying themselves, indicating they're more into the relationship than you are - hmaidat

HUSBANDECTOMY: a divorce (usually painful and involving six weeks off work) - therealfionacolley

INERTIASHIP: a relationship that is basically over, but neither person can be bothered to end it - lazyboy

INSTANT MANGLER (RE: INSTANT MESSENGER): your ex's screen name on the side of your computer just staring at you, tempting you to double-click and say "Hi, I'm here and I miss you" - satcgoddess

IRRELE-GENT: a nice guy, usually introduced to you by your elderly neighbor, who's sweet and entertaining but ultimately makes no impact on your life - missconstrued

LATE FLEE: hastening the ending of a bad date so you can try to salvage the evening by getting to the video store before it closes - mickramer

LONG DISTANCE DITCH: a breakup that adds insult to injury by forcing the person who is about to be broken up with to purchase a plane ticket - baynbeach

MANCATION: when you've decided you need a vacation from all men because you just can't take one more guy who doesn't call - satcgoddess

MODERN WRECKNOLOGY: accidental screw ups that occur via cell phone or computer, blowing any chance of a relationship (i.e. getting called for a date by mistake because he scrolled to the wrong girl) - hmaidat

MUSICK: the dramatic inability to listen to a song that reminds you of your ex - hmaidat

NEVEROSEXUAL: a person who never has sex, generally in spite of his or her best efforts; adj. Of or relating to a person who just can't get laid. Usage: People used to think he was gay, but in reality he's just neverosexual - pingponger

NO TEXTICLES: a guy who uses text messages one too many times when really he should call already - joanna

OUTFITAPHOBIA: when you won't wear the outfit again that you were wearing when he broke up with you... or did something horrible to you... or fought with you... Basically, you end up with a closet full of unwearable clothes - friday

PENIS FLYTRAP: someone who you really should not be in a relationship with because they have no redeemable qualities other than great sex, that's why you are still with him! - betweenboys2

RUT'S FOR DINNER: the dreaded moment in a relationship when the honeymoon is over, indicated by conversations like this: "What do you want to eat?" "I don't know what do you want to eat?" "I don't know what do you want to eat?" - hmaidat

SELF-HATING DATER: to go out with someone who is so much like yourself they drive you crazy - carlalw

SEXUAL GROUT: the man you have sex with inbetween anything substantial - anonymous

SLEEPY SLOPE: when your bed starts to slope because you still sleep on "your side," so instead of sleeping in the middle, you try to balance it out. First you get your "NewSexSheets" - an absolute must after a breakup, which leads to the ornamental pillows, which are the $10 pillows you are supposed to remove before you sleep, but you leave them on just to take up empty space - SWJF

SLUNTING: an activity in which a group of men go slut hunting (illegal in some states where sluts are considered an endangered species) - chillyforrilly

SPORTSCENTRIC: a guy who cuts a date short so he can make it home for the 11:00 SportsCenter - mrmojorisin

STENOGRAPHIC MEMORY: a woman's uncanny ability to remember every stupid or mean thing you've ever said to her and repeat it back word for word - mrmojorisin

TAKENITIS: a sickness common in exes; when you finally move on and you're with someone else, the guy you liked all along comes and tells you he wants you - lovebites

THE TWO A.M. BIN RAKE: a last desperate dash to find that "special someone" just as the night club closes (please note this is a British turn of phrase and may be completely incomprehensible to the more sophisticated American) - therealfionacolley

TRAMPAGE: (Cindy's favorite submission!) the misguided sexual rampage a woman goes on post-breakup - tawny

THE VALIDATER: a man who rationalizes that he needs to keep his large collecton of phone numbers from single women handy (in his cell phone, in his black book, in his Blackberry) for the validation... making you questions how valid his feelings are for you - miss_poptart

WANDERING I: a man you catch checking out... himself, in any reflective surface - x0xocarlyxox0

WMD - WEAPON OF MASS DISTRACTION: the object of alternative desire; when a date keeps getting distracted by better looking people at other tables or on the street - MyJewishBooksDotCom